April 2018

Dear future babies,

As I said in my last post I want to try and write more during this cycle, so here goes. To be honest there’s not much to report. I’m on day 25 of injections today, it’s just become second nature really. I have the odd ouchy one, but all in all I’m pretty lucky and don’t seem to get very many side-effects, apart from maybe a little bit grumpy, which I am sure your dad will agree with!

On Friday we have our baseline scan to check that the injections have done their job and we are ready to move on to the next phase where I will be taking up to 3 tablets a day on top of the daily injection. I hope everything will look good and we can start, of course there is always doubt at the back of my mind and I worry about the worst case scenario.

I have moments where I can’t imagine this cycle not working then minutes later I wonder if IVF will ever work for us. I’m sure everyone going through this can relate to that. I desperately want to be one of the lucky ones.

Last week we picked up our new car, I was so excited and it’s served as a bit of a distraction from the FET cycle. We’ve never had a new car so it was a big treat for us, it felt like Christmas driving that home. I keep ‘popping out’ for things just as an excuse to drive it. We are really hoping this is the car that we’ll take you home from hospital in (probably driving the whole way at 20mph, if I know your dad). I want this to be the car that gets mucky from having a toddler and everything they come with. I want this to be our family car, and we’ve lovingly named it the ‘Mom-mobile’. We will only have it for 3 years so you’d best hurry up! As faith purchases go, this is a big one. Most people buy a vest or a baby blanket and stash it at the back of the cupboard, this a little more obvious but I’m hoping our optimism pays off.

Next week we are going away for my birthday, I can’t believe it’s already been a year since my 30th. I dreaded turning 30 it was such a big milestone, I’m sure I must have thought by this time next year we’d be a little closer to our family, and in a way we are. I hope by the time I turn 32 I can say I’m a mummy. Milestones really can be bittersweet, although exciting they can just highlight what we don’t yet have. We have 4 nights away booked in a cottage and I can’t wait to just have some quality time with your dad, and come back feeling relaxed and raring to go as we gear up for transfer.

Funnily enough our hospital has been on the global news recently. An ex-Russian spy who lived in Salisbury was poisoned and it was all everyone was talking about for weeks. It will be strange going to the clinic on Friday, I’m not sure if the media are still camped out there. Suddenly our quiet little unknown hospital was known worldwide and that was surreal. As long as they stay away from my precious embryos!

Anyway I think I’ll leave it there for now my babies. There isn’t a day goes by that I don’t think of you. We are waiting, somewhat patiently (!), for you and can’t wait for you to be here.

Love, Mum xx



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