Infertility

December 2019

Dear future baby,

It’s 7.30am on Christmas Day. Your dad is snoring next to me and Reggie is cuddled up next to me purring. You have been wiggling round in my tummy since about 4am and nothing has ever been more perfect. The last 4 Christmases have been hard, some more than others, but I always hoped the next year would be different. I was starting to lose hope that it ever would be but this year you proved me wrong.

I’m 24 weeks pregnant today, what they call viability, that means that if I were to go into labour you would have a 50% chance of surviving and the doctors would fight to save you. I’m hoping you don’t come too early though. I’d hate to jinx things but so far we’ve had a pretty text book pregnancy with you. I have to go back in about 8 weeks to check my placenta as at the moment the position isn’t where they’d like it to be, if it doesn’t move I’ll be having a c section but I don’t mind how you’re born as long as you get here safely and are happy and healthy.

Feeling your kicks is one of the best things ever, two nights ago I saw one from the outside for the first time and it was so surreal. Your dad still hasn’t seen it but he’s just woken up and felt two big kicks which was the best present ever. My favourite time of day is when I’m showered and I get into my ‘nest’ with my pregnancy pillow, that’s when I feel you the most.

I still find it hard to believe that you’ll be a real life baby but I am trying to more and more. I keep thinking about what next Christmas will be like and how exciting it will be.

You have no idea how loved you are already. So many people are so excited to meet you and spoil you and I just can’t wait! I keep daydreaming of taking you out for walks in your pram and all the cuddles we’ll have.

We said we wouldn’t buy anything until the new year so I’m excited to start thinking about your nursery and all the things we have to buy for your arrival!

Anyway I best get up so we can open our presents (I already have the best present ever in my tummy).

Mummy and daddy love you so much. We can’t wait to spend Christmas with you in our arms next year.

With love always

Mum xx

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